Ok Wow, sorry I know two posts in one day. I must really be bored, its late. But I have to express some feelings. I am sure you all know how hard it is to be a mom. But I think today has been the hardest. Some feedback is welcomed from all you great moms. But First grade has not been so easy, and it is only the second week. Kelsie was so excited to start, loved her teacher after she met her. Every morning last week she was the first one up ready to go to school. Then the weekend hit. And today she woke up crying that she didnt want to go. She wouldnt eat breakfast, wouldnt put her shoes on. So the mean mom I am, put her shoes on and walked her to the bus without breakfast and crying. I tried asking her what her reasons were, but she really didnt have any except that it was long, and hot. I didnt want her to think it was ok to just not go to school. So of course I walked home crying feeling bad and wondering why she didnt want to go. So we were getting baths done tonight before bed and she was refusing again. So we had a long talk and figured out that she feels like she has no friends. That no one wants to play with her at recess, or sit by her at lunch. Which is totally not like her. Last year she had all types of friends, and always had someone to play with. She was the one that was helping those that didnt have anyone to play with. So we just tried telling her that she needs to make some more new friends. But she wasnt up for that, she said she tried. So as a mom that breaks my heart, of course it makes me want to let her stay home, but it isnt teaching her anything. And to make things harder she said she had a mean substitute today and half of tomorrow. So I just told her to look forward to her teacher comeing back after lunch and things will get better. I just cant do this every day. But I cant not make her go to school. So what do I do? Am I doing the right things? Saying the right things.
8 years ago
14 comments:
hey girl i just got home from work and read your sad day you have had! i am going through the same things!! i think the thing that has helped my kids the most is to just not make such a big deal about it. i just tell them i love them and i will be here when school is out and school is just something that we have to do..just like i have to be a mommy..ect..it is what we are down here to do. samm has complained about the same things about it being too long and hot, she has ALL boys at her table too. i just told her to think of it as her job just like i do as a mom and that boys arent bad to be friends with cause her dad is a boy..anyway call me if you need to talk i have felt like homeschooling aleady but i know that would just be running away fom the problem:( i am sorry you have to deal right now but she will get passed this and be happy dont give up you are an AWESOME mom and she is an awesome friend! sorry this is soo long:)
p.s maybe try planning something for the weekend so she has something to look forward too, or tell her what you will be doing while she is at school..like cleaning, running errands, boring stuff so she will be happy to go to school???
When we moved here we had all kinds of breakdowns! Ashlee really struggled, like the whole first week crying from the time I dropped her off until the time I picked her up! Going all day is a huge change- but what we did that helped- well actually it completely cured it, I'll share- hopefully you are not offended by bribing your kids! Yep, when all else fails, bribes work great! We told each of the girls if they come home each day and remembered a new childs name, on Friday we would go get ice cream sundae's. It worked, got them out of their comfort zone. The next week we told them if they could come home and tell us something aobut someone they met, on Firday we would get ice cream or they culd choose a toy at Wal- Mart. Worked again- they had tons of friends- breaking the ice is the hardest thing ever- even for adults! Another thing you could do is talk to the teacher. Just find out what some of the NICE kids names are in class- try to ask Kelsie about them- it will kind of shock her that you know names of kids in her class, encourage her to play with them. Sorry this is so long- we've been doing this for a few years now! The thing that worked really well for us also was I went and ate lunch with Ashlee. When ever a parent comes to eat with their child all of a sudden there arekids swarming to sit by them- don't know why, but that's what happens. I spoke to lots of different kids and it got Ahslee talking to them too. Ok, I'm done spouting! It's so hard to be a mom and watch them hurt, but it's so rewarding when you see the growth they have from getting through a hard time! Good Luck!!
Alissa-Thank you for those suggestions, I think I will try those. We are into bribery, who isnt? :) No it does make a huge difference when I go to the school. I noticed last year when I started volunteering how the kids are so amazed by the parents who come and volunteer. Kelsie did ask me to come to her school, but I cant this week because we are getting our new floor installed. Hopefully they will finish early. Thanks again I love all those suggestions.
Stephanie- yea I have tried to not make it a huge deal, but I have talked to her alot about it because I just want to make sure nothing bad happened. So we will see. I know she is missing Samantha, they were good buddies in Milletts class.
Sorry not much help here. Not had those experiences. All I can say is going to her school might help and showing her you love her no matter what. But of course you are already doing that! :)
Julia also had a hard time. Honestly, I think it is just because they are so tired. The first month of 1st grade I thought Julia had MAJOR PMS. She cried about everything and didn't want to go to school. Now that she is used to the schedule she handling life much better. Give it a little time..... in the mean time I'm sorry, its so hard to send a sad little girl to school. Good luck!
Julia also had a hard time. Honestly, I think it is just because they are so tired. The first month of 1st grade I thought Julia had MAJOR PMS. She cried about everything and didn't want to go to school. Now that she is used to the schedule she handling life much better. Give it a little time..... in the mean time I'm sorry, its so hard to send a sad little girl to school. Good luck!
I'm sorry she's having a hard time. I will tell Cole if he sees he to play with her but don't know it they're outside at the same time on recess or not. I can't see her not having any friends. I don't know how kids do it and make new friends but I think somehow they just start hanging out with each other. I hope the week gets better. And hopefully bribes will help too if you do that.
I'm counting on school being a place where Taylor can make some friends. I hope I'm not disappointed as it certainly would be heartbreaking to see your child so sad. Keep close tabs on her emotions but I'm willing to bet that she will have friends she likes hanging with by next week!
No experience here either but I know it'll be torture for me if my boys have a hard time. I think you are doing a good job just being there and by definately encouraging her to go to school.
Aubrey, I am so sorry that Kelsie is struggling. It breaks my heart to hear that. I was almost in tears for you as we were talking today. I hope some of the advice you have gotten works. I will chat with Ry and make sure she includes Kelsie at lunch and recess. let me know if there is anything else that we can do.
By the way, I didn't know that we could have lunch with the girls. We should go try that sometime, I think that would be fun!
Gosh, that makes me so sad, I could hardly even read it. She's always been soo good with making friends that really suprises me. I wonder what changed. I hope you can get her to love school again. I agree, once you start going in an working with her class I bet she'll do better. All this change is really hard for them.
Oh-that just breaks my heart for her and you. Brandt had some boys at school that he thinks are awesome tell him that he's weird. What do you do? It is SO hard to watch and I know what you mean about not knowing what to do.
Maybe-and this is a totally random out there thought-make a game of it somehow. Like, she can count how many people she makes smile that day or something. Sorry-I don't know if that's helpful at all. But I do think you're doing the right thing. Running away from the problem doesn't help anything.It's just like the approach needs to be different somehow ya know? (Not for you-just like something to get her excited again.) I'm probably way off. Good luck to you and to your little girl. Oh, my heart.
Oh man that made me cry. That has to be so hard for both of you. Just stay strong, she'll get past it. (Easier said than done) Give her my love.
Gee, her experience sounds similar to te ones I had in elementary. It just took 1-2 girls so make my days miserable when, in fact, everyone else was willing to be my friend. The biggest thing my mom did for me, and bless her for it, was to listen to me cry and feel sorry for myself. I did it regularly for about a year. I realize now how taxing and heartbreaking it must have ben for her but I appreciated the time she took to hear my thoughts and sorrows. It was hard but I got through it with many many friends (one of which is you!)
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